Fireside Chat

As I started working on this assignment, the idea of just giving an oral presentation never crossed my mind. I’m sure it was just some latent part of my personality, but I felt like I had to give a performance. So, as I thought and thought about different beliefs I held and different ways I could perform them, I finally remembered this poem I had written for a creative writing class a semester ago:

I woke up God

at three in the morning

to ask him if he was real.

I apologized for inconveniencing him,

of course,

but that was only a cordiality—

in fact I felt justified

because my question seemed very pressing

at the time.

“Maybe,” he said—

and I could hear the groggy impatience in his voice—

“but for all intents and purposes not right now.

Now go back to sleep.”

I cried

but then I went to bed

as that seemed like a reasonable answer

for three in the morning.

That was the first idea I had of something that I could perform.

I actually like the poem better than my performance—I think because it is more open ended—but I also value the performance I gave because it is more personal to me and my beliefs.

After I gave my performance, I feel like I received mixed reactions from the class about it. Specifically, Jared told me, “It was good, but surprising.” I didn’t know what to make of that at first, but as I thought about it, I realized that my fireside chat may have come across as less positive and hopeful than I intended for it to. In the church, we often hear things like, “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your beliefs” and “Focus on what you do know, not what you don’t.” As I made my presentation, I felt that it did that, but I realize it also exposed a doubtful side to my beliefs. However, for me, my main belief I wanted to share was that no matter who or what God is, if he exists, I believe that he will be willing to see us for who we are and what we are trying to do, not for any other beliefs we may or may not have. I realize that my presentation exposed some doubts I may have about religion and God as well—but for me, the main thing was the hope I have that everything will be alright in the end.

Anyway, outside of myself, I thought the Fireside Chat was incredible. I loved every single presentation given, and I loved the response the class gave to everyone. Everyone was willing to make some part of themselves vulnerable to share what they believe with the class, and that’s something that I find especially valuable. Everyone else reminded me of other things I believe, and the whole night pretty much just brought me a lot of peace.